MindfulVision

My tribute to life with all its curiosities and miracles


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I should reconsider this post…

But I don’t. Who’s to judge our actions? Who’s to determine what’s right or wrong? Who’s to say what “one” should our shouldn’t do? In the end it all comes down to choice. The choices each and every one of us is making on a daily basis.

Societies all over the world keep a balance of “appropriateness” by defining the shoulds of our daily interactions. But what if you and me  would get up every morning and step into complete self-responsibility? For our thoughts, for our actions and for our lives? Approaching life like a blank canvas every day! I can only imagine what could be if we dropped all our internal and external shoulds. My imagination is a wild one though. I see a visionary and authentic world, one of shared responsibilities but also shared joy and true connections among people.

We spend years and years (some people even their entire lives) to craft and color our masks that keep us “safe” in a picture perfect world. They fit perfectly like a second skin and they sure look good from the outside. But what’s to be protected? And what’s really at stake if you keep up this masked version of yourself? Your identity? Your authenticity? Your freedom? Your choice? Your self-determination? Your life? I don’t know your answer to this question but I do know mine: I am giving up my illusions. This is an unpleasant truth. But it is the truth. My truth. And that’s the only one that matters to me. You might have a different truth and that should be the only one that matters to you.

Did you even notice the should in this last sentence? I didn’t until I reread it. Was I tempted to rephrase? Oh yes! But then I realized that would just be proving to myself that I am listening to my own self-imposed shoulds…I chose my own truth instead because I really believe that each and every one of us has the right and freedom to give the highest priority to our individual truth. Holding that belief creates a should in my mind. Whether or not anybody else accepts or challenges my should is a matter of choice again.  But who am I to determine if this is not just another illusion?

Writing this fills me with excitement and frustration at the same time. A deep longing and yearning for truth and authenticity is driving me to put into words what’s been on my mind for quite a while. But it makes me really sad to see how many people are caught up in their self-constructed illusions – including myself – missing out on a big part of life. Thinking about this, an image of a safety net comes up for me…but when I take a closer look I realize it’s not just a net, it’s a box. Sure, it will keep you from falling down but it will also hold you back from jumping. Only you can be the judge for yourself:  Do I choose safety and very limited flexibility over my freedom of choice, authenticity and true self-expression?

For the past few weeks I’ve been very determined to explore, find and speak my own truth. It’s tough! And I fail. A lot. But I also celebrate successes along the way. My illusionary truth shatters bit by bit but I am creating a new one every day, which fills me with joy and sadness. And I love this wild mixture of emotions and feelings. It challenges me to leave my comfort zone but this is where insight and growth can happen. I come across shadows, loyal soldiers, fears, insecurities and illusions – concerning myself, others and the world. It is a challenge – sometimes a very painful one. But after all it is my truth. And I choose to look at it. Completely unprotected but yet so safe in my own authenticity.

How strange when an illusion dies. It’s as though you’ve lost a child.

Judy Garland

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Embracing the VOID

With aloha!A lot of changes have been rumbling through my life lately. An inner urge was calling me to take a trip to Hawaii recently; I listened and set out to look for that “life changing thing” I was hoping to find along the way. Although that ONE thing I had hoped for did not cross my path, many other things kept happening, allowing for a smooth transformational process that I didn’t even realize happening until it was already complete. One that has brought wonderful blessings my way and still continues to do so. While traveling I received messages regarding my purpose, finally allowed myself to see and hear my own truth and to live in alignment with my values, needs and integrity for myself. Never before have I experienced so much clarity about who I really am at my core and what it is that truly matters in my life. Embracing my roots as a strong foundation for authentic self-expression.

And this is where I am now: totally FREE but puzzled by the realization that literally EVERYTHING is possible now! But what does that mean? Sure, I said this many times before – to myself, to friends, to coaching clients. But this is it: endless possibility and I am blown away. Excited, puzzled and confused. Wow, I never knew how challenging it is to really embrace the option of endless possibility without getting trapped in any sort of self-imposed limitations!

Little did I know when I set out on the quest to myself  that it would also lead me to the hardest thing I ever had to do: letting go of  love – for love – for now. I did. It hurts. A lot. Yet it was inevitable and all I can do for now is trust that this is happening for a reason. You can’t lose true love. You might not share your life any more, but that deeply rooted connection at soul level will always be there. And suddenly the concept of endless possibility entails so much more. I am always capable of love regardless of location or the physical presence of my loved one(s). My capability of love is ENDLESS. Of course it is wonderful to be with the one(s) you love. This is not possible for now but I am free to love endlessly anyway. And I do. Always. Letting go of everything to enter the VOID – the only state of mind that allows for endless possibilities to emerge so we can truly experience what “everything is possible” really means.


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Unintentional Intentions

Thank you life for being my constant reminder of the many lessons that are still waiting for me to be learned. And thank you lessons for being my patient teachers along the way.

A little orchid in the living room triggered these thoughts today:
Most of our actions a geared toward a specific and desired goal or outcome. If we hit the target we are happy, joyful and satisfied. Missing it, however, usually results in a sense of failure, disappointment and sadness. Sometimes the chances of hitting the bull’s eye are within our control; more often they are not. We get caught up In something that might be well beyond our scope of influence. Either way we get attached to whatever it is we consider the “ideal outcome” and identify ourselves automatically with the success or failure a particular action brings. A heavy burden of responsibility that might not even be ours to carry. What a waste of energy!

But what if we’d focus on doing whatever it is we do just for the fun of doing it instead? Not only are we releasing a lot of stress that’s related to making certain ends meet, we also open up to a whole new world of surprising – and possibly even better – results. This brings me back to the orchid. A few days ago I accidentally broke off a branch. Ouch! Not only was it in bloom, it also had a few new buds that were about to burst. I felt terrible and stuck the branch in the pot, hoping that at least the blooming petals might survive a few more days. That way I was also hoping to feel a little less guilty. This evening when I looked at the orchid I couldn’t believe my eyes: the petals were withering already. However, the buds that I was expecting to die off immediately had already started to open up and will probably be in full bloom in a few days. So unlikely and yet so beautiful! I thought I had killed a part of my plant but instead it is even more alive now than it was a few days ago!
My lesson learned:
Detachment from outcome allows for magic to happen and makes life a lot easier!

“When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you.”
Jessica Lange


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Shampoo thoughts on happiness

photo-4This morning I hopped into the most colorful shower I have ever seen in my life. What a great start of the day! My daily showers have served me well in the past regarding inspiration about my writing and especially shampoo really seems to tap into my inspirational thinking. Here I was, squeezing my shampoo bottle, when this big realization hit me out of the blue.

I’ve been travelling Hawaii for about three and a half weeks now. After the first week I went from O’ahu to the Big Island and had a major shampoo accident on the flight. It was spilled all over the place – luckily only on my washbag. However, it was messy . I remember how happy I was that day when I took a shower and there was at least enough left in the bottle for me to wash my hair that day. And even happier when it was still serving me the day after and the day after that. When I left the place I had stayed at for a few days I took the seemingly empty bottle of shampoo with me – for whatever reason. And here I am almost 3 weeks later, still squeezing enough out of that bottle for me to wash my hair. And I did take regular showers including washing my hair in the meantime 🙂

Sometimes we are so focused on lack and our fear of losing something that we do not even realize how much we have already. Our concern is in the past – that has passed – or the future – that’s not here yet and might never come – that we forget to be present here and now with what is and with what we have.

Very little can take you a very long way! That is so applicable to anything in life. If my shampoo would not have lasted that long I could have just picked up a new bottle at the next store … or I might have come up with other ways to keep my hair clean 🙂 Either way, there are always options to choose from and just because something seems little it can serve a great purpose and be quite long lasting.

So what am I taking away from this? My shampoo bottle 🙂 and a lot of trust that it might actually stay with me until the end of my trip. Overusing, overpacking, over everything seems to be the name of the game these days. We accumulate and pile up more and more stuff thinking it will bring us happiness. But what really happens is it burdens us because we have to take it everywhere we go and also adds a lot of worries to our lives because we are so afraid that we might lose what we accumulated over time.

This trip has taught me how limited options actually serve you well in tapping into your creativity and are a great way of truly experiencing the moment. Happiness is in being content with what is in each moment, however little that may be. I know for sure now that I need very little to be very well and happy. Mahalo!


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From grumpy carpe diem to happy camper

Today is one of these days that I am extremely grateful for being alive. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s pretty awesome to be alive every single day and stating and appreciating that is actually a part of my daily meditation. However, today was special – for no particular reason. Just an ordinary Saturday except for my mood, which was surprisingly bad for a day without plans, obligations or stress. I woke up way too early after a restless night and after going to bed too late in the first place. I was tired and grumpy!

About two hours after I had dragged myself out of bed I was ready  to hit the couch and call it a day. But for whatever reason I got dressed instead and left the house. At that point the carpe diem voice inside my head seemed pretty determined to make the most out of this day. I decided to just go along as I was too tired (and still grumpy) to fight it anyway. After grocery shopping and a little walk I called my mom to see if she wanted to get some coffee – luckily she did. We had such a good time chatting, giggling and laughing and after our first round of coffee we ordered a round of drinks. I had to be 5 o’clock somewhere at that point 🙂 What a fun time we had…and on a little side note: love you mom!

After we left the café I wanted to go home, fix some dinner and finally keep my coach some company. But apparently the inner carpe diem brat had other plans again and it seemed to be controlling my car: instead of making the turn leading to my house the car just kept driving – and  I surrendered. And this was when the magic happened. Once I stopped expecting a certain outcome and taking things for granted, openness stepped in and my eyes and soul were able to see and experience each moment fully. Carpe diem me had taken over – completely! Whenever I got to the end of a road I followed my intuition and took the turn that was “pulling” me. My intuitive GPS was taking me to places I didn’t know existed: beautiful houses, scenery and hidden treasures! And the entire time I kept thinking: How in the world is it possible that I never noticed any of this before???

CaipiBy the end of the day carpe diem me decided it was time to take myself out to dinner. I ended up in a nice (and up to this point also unknown) Brazilian restaurant with a delicious plate of dried cod in palm oil and coconut milk and a caipirinha in front of me, chatting with the Brazilian-Portuguese-African waiter, got a drink on the house after I finished eating and just sat there and enjoyed the music for a little while longer thinking: I am a truly great date 🙂 Thank you life for proving me that you are  stronger than my moods and that we never know what the day might have in stock for us!


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Nothing endures but change – Part II

I’ve been on a journey for a while now. I set out with no specific goal but I had high hopes: hopes of finding myself along the way, hopes of reclaiming ease and joy as my guides and most importantly hopes of reigniting my long-lost passion and zest for life. After about two years of being “on the road” it’s time for a little check-in with myself.

I’ve come a long way already – a way full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, hopes and fears. And this is the essence of life’s most valuable lesson: We live in a world of change and duality! There is no day without night, no summer without winter and no joy without pain.

We tend to favor the joyous times in our lives, when everything just seems to be easy and falling into place without stress or worries. Of course those are great times but would we really enjoy them as much if we didn’t also know the down side, the “dark times” of struggle in and with life?

Feelings of frustration can actually tell us a great deal about ourselves. When we feel stuck and not at ease with ourselves and our lives our soul is trying to talk to us. Sure we can ignore this little voice and pretend everything is fine and nurture the belief that life is a struggle we need to deal with.

But what if we started talking to the voice and instead of just ignoring its yearning let it be heard and ask questions like:

  • What are you trying to tell me?
  • What am I not seeing?
  • What are you longing for?
  • What brings me alive again?

If you allow yourself to be open and honest – not only with your questions but also with your answers – this “dark place of numbness” has the potential to become a source of inspiration and a chance to tap into your hidden potentials and passions. Always keep in mind: Even in the middle of the longest winter, spring is just around the corner!

Treat your numbness, fears, worries or whatever it is with compassion and they can be loyal companions guiding you to a life in ease, purpose and self-determination.


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A Cage of Thought / Ein Käfig aus Gedanken

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Only a life in freedom is a life well lived!

I’m super thrilled and delighted that my guest article on dogmas and limiting sets of beliefs was published on the German blog “Geist und Gegenwart” today!

You can read the entire article here: http://www.geistundgegenwart.de/2013/03/glaubenssaetze.html

To all my English-speaking readers: Sorry, for now it is available in German only but I am happy to provide translation support 🙂

Thank you Gilbert!

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Ich freue mich riesig darüber, dass mein Gastartikel zum Thema Glaubenssätze heute auf Geist und Gegenwart veröffentlicht wurde!

Den kompletten Artikel gibt es hier zu lesen:

http://www.geistundgegenwart.de/2013/03/glaubenssaetze.html

Vielen lieben Dank Gilbert!